Put a Little Boogie in it

"A gentleman always carries a handkerchief, and is ready to lend it especially to a weeping lady, should the need arise."

At first reading of this attribute, I was slightly disgusted. I have always found handkerchiefs to be unseemly. To watch someone pull a piece of cloth out of their pocket, evacuate their nostrils into it, and then replacing it, it makes my stomach turn. I am by no means a clean freak or germophobe, I just cannot understand the appeal.

Then I took a step back and realized that I was focusing on the wrong part of the attribute. The point is not that you carry a germ covered fabric square around in your pocket. Instead this is saying that you should not only be aware of the feelings, well being, and potential suffering of those around you, but you should be there to lend an ear, shoulder, or even a tissue if it is needed.

Sports! Go Sports!

"A gentleman does not disparage the beliefs of others - whether they relate to matters of faith, politics, or sports teams."

When I was younger, my mother would tell me to be careful of what I would ask of God. He would answer prayers, but never in the way you would expect. If you ask for patience, he will not hand patience to you. Instead he will present you with ample opportunities to practice patience. This is how I felt about this week's focus.

I have always found pride in being open-minded and respectful of the ideas and beliefs of others. So, when I first read this truth I thought, "This will be easy." Then I read the final three words; "or sports teams." Why did John have to add those fateful words?

Most who know me know that I am not a fan of sports, especially The OSU Buckeyes. True, I am a proud alum of The Ohio State University, but, as I often have to remind my father, that does not make me a fan of the sports franchise. I have often enjoyed teasing the vast number of Buckeye fans living here in Columbus about how absurd I find their fanaticism. Now realizing that I could no longer revel in the joy of this, especially at the beginning of March Madness, I was sure that this would be one aspect that I would never be able to internalize.

At this point I was reminded of a pearl of wisdom that I was taught by an energetic rabbit that if one does not have something nice to say, one should choose to say nothing at all. Every time that I was confronted with a conversation or observation concerning any sporting event I would remind myself of this and simply bite my tongue. This worked well... until last Friday.

A colleague and I went to a local restaurant for lunch and, of course, there were basketball games flashed all over every television in the place. I could feel the urge to say something, but I followed the advise of the wise lagomorph and bit my tongue. I bit it so hard that I almost bit clear through. I guess no one said that being a gentleman would be easy.

"Thank you, Computer!"

"A gentleman says "please" and "thank you" readily and often."

At the beginning of John's book, he lists ten things that make a gentleman. First on the list is that a gentleman says "Thank you" and "Please" whenever possible. I am usually good at saying thank you and please (thanks mom), so I didn't expect this to be that difficult to adopt.

The first thing that I discovered as I began this adventure is how aware of everything I became. I took an active notice of every interaction that I had with people. If I would forget to say "Thank you," it would stay with me. It got to the point where I began to feel like there were a scoreboard and I was in a competition between the person that I have been and the person I hope to be and the former was winning. I knew that to fully incorporate a change I would have to take a proactive stance.

In an effort to practice this first trait, last week I installed an assistant application (similar to Siri) on my phone and have been using it to set reminders and send texts. I made sure to say "Thank you" and "Please" to Computer (my name for the assistant) any time I had a request. At first it felt odd to use such pleasantries with an inanimate program, but I found that it has become more natural to say "Thank you" and "Please" in human interactions.

In the movie "Kingsman," Colin Firth's character recites a quote that (loosely) states that being a gentleman is not about viewing yourself as superior to your fellowman, but, instead, is about viewing yourself as superior to who you were. Thank you Colin Firth, I will continue to try.

The Journey Begins

"A contemporary guide to common courtesy."

So, I have been wanting to begin blogging or start a podcast or a YouTube channel or some sort of project [as if I currently do not have enough going on], but I have been struggling to find a topic that could serve as long term inspiration. 

Tonight I ventured out of the safety of my hovel and went to see "Kingsman: The Secret Service" and, apart from the abundance of adult language, it was a great movie and has provided me with the inspiration for my new project. 

I have purchased John Bridges's book "How to Be a Gentleman Revised & Updated: A Contemporary Guide to Common Courtesy (Gentlemanners)" and I plan to work my way through the book and chronicle my journey along the way. 

I am excited to see where this road will take me and I would love to hear feedback from you on how this journey goes. 

Here we go...